khaira and anxiety

13 Dec 2016

it'S really breaks my heart seeing how khaira trying to cope with her anxiety.

when something uneasy-in her perspective happened, she will be sooo panic, keep repeating words and trying to get out of the situation. she seems so anxious!

this morning she watched spongebob. maybe there was some scene that made her felt not comfortable. so she suddenly run to the bathroom and said, 'nak mandi...nak mandi ', dia menjerit2. dia trs masuk toilet sambil repeating the words nak mandi. bila dalam toilet and dengar music spongebob dah habis, dia terus taknak mandi  dan keluar.

and me?
i feel so sad. as the only way for me to express myself is through writing... i tried to write in journal but i feel so tired. so i switch on my pc and type this blog. my 2 yo boy disrupted me. i feel so angry and raised my voice. khaira heard it and came to me, asking me whats wrong? i told her 'dadek kacau mama'. she said, 'its ok mama.. 'and hug me.  i felt so tenang..

mayb inilah hikmahnya, she understands me. she comforts me.

and this boy who is on my laps, struggle to picit2 keyboard ni kadang2 buat i stress kadang2 buat i rasa kelakar. haha.. itulah dadek.

ok. tu je la nak cerita. sigh.